A Word about Reality – From Dr. Harold Duncan
A Word about Reality
“I never thought this is where I would be at this stage in my life.”
It’s a phrase therapists hear frequently from clients in counseling. Their life has taken some very unexpected and unwelcome turns. There is pain, disappointment, disillusionment and possibly despair. Some of their pain may be a result of their own poor choices. Some, the result of choices made by someone else.
“I never thought this is where I would be at this stage in my life.”
I’ve heard the phrase frequently. In fact, I’ve heard it so frequently, I realized several years ago, “Hey, me, too!” My life is nowhere close to where I thought it would be. This has not gone according to plan–at least, not my plan.
I think it’s called “reality.”
A client shared this picture last week:
It reminded me of a greeting card I received several years ago:
Into each life, some rain must fall . . .
Followed by dangerous winds and damaging hail,
And then, you pay your taxes,
And then, you die.
Yes, life can take some very unexpected, painful and frightening turns.
When I was younger, I truly believed I had a good idea about the direction my life would take educationally, professionally and relationally. Guess what? It hasn’t turned out that way!
Into my life (and yours), rain has fallen, followed by high winds and damaging hail. Sometimes, life hurts and hurts very deeply.
I now agree, “I never thought this is where I would be at this stage in my life.”
However, over the years, I have realized, “That’s not necessarily a bad thing!” Although my life is very different than “planned,” and although there has been significant pain and disappointment, my life is also very good! (Dare I say even better than it would be if my plan had played out?)
As you consider these thoughts, I encourage you to remind yourself that, in all likelihood, there are many chapters yet to be written in your life. It is not over. You may presently be in a very deep and dark place. The clouds are threatening, the rain is falling, lightening is striking. But this is not the end of the story.
Yes, reality can hurt, but reality is often good, in fact, it can be very good. When your world is dark, I urge you to search for the light, the positives, the blessings, and the things for which you are truly grateful.
Trust me, they are there! They are just a little more difficult to see at the moment.
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