John and Julie Gottman are two of the preeminent researchers, authors, trainers and couples therapists in the world today.  Their work spans more than 40 years.  Twice a week, they publish a brief article called Marriage Minute.  I encourage you to subscribe by going to their web site, Gottman.com.

The following is from a recent Marriage Minute:

For a model investigator, look no further than Columbo.

(Please click on the image for a brief, entertaining video.)

According to the show’s Wikipedia page, “[Suspects] become increasingly unsettled as his pestering behavior leads him to tease out incriminating evidence. His relentless approach often leads to self-incrimination or an outright confession by the suspect.”

Your partner is not a suspect and your conversations should not mimic an interrogation, but there’s something to be said for Columbo’s methods.

He notices and asks follow-up questions. He is kind, almost deferential, which encourages his suspects to share. He seeks to understand, and he checks to make sure he heard correctly.

Just one more thing-your partner is not a criminal!

972-233-9199