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A Word about Fred and Dottie

A Word about Fred and Dottie

I have known Dottie and Fred for more than 40 years, and over that time, they have blessed my life in many ways!


They were married 54 years, have three children, 8 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

In 2011, Fred passed away.

Dottie told me something I have shared with many of the couples in my counseling office.  (She has also consented for me to share this with you.)  She said, when they would wake up in the mornings, he would look at her, and the first words out of his mouth were, “I’m going to love you all day today!”

Wow!  There is nothing he could have said that would have meant as much to her as these words!

  • They were intentional.
  • They were absolute.
  • They were unconditional.
  • They were daily.

Just like Fred!

This, in a nutshell, is what we try to help couples learn in counseling and in our Safe Conversations workshops.  Many couples are wounded by each other, and because of that, are disconnected, some “minorly,” but others moderately or majorly.

Hurt is a fact of relationship life.  Most of us do not want to hurt our partners, and we try not to.  But try as we might, we do.  It may be a thoughtless comment or a careless decision.  Regardless, hurt is hurt and must be addressed!

Developing the habit of expressing daily words of appreciation and gratitude is a wonderful starting point.  It can help each of us feel more valued, loved and cherished–every day!

“I’m going to love you all day today!”

Where did Fred come up with that?  I don’t know.  Even Dottie doesn’t know.  I would love to have the opportunity to ask him.

But it doesn’t really matter, does it?  The fact that he said it over the course of many years reinforced to Dottie that she was the most valued and important person in Fred’s life, period, exclamation point!

In this life, it just doesn’t get any better than that!

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