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A Word about “Lyin’ Eyes”

A Word about “Lyin’ Eyes” 


According to the song (Eagles, 1975), the young girl married the rich, old man so that she would not have to worry. Worry about being taken care of, worry about being able to afford an opulent life style, worry about the rest of her life. It certainly must have looked good on paper!

Sadly, she did not anticipate the unrelenting loneliness.

(Click on the image to watch and hear the entire song.)

My favorite lyric is, “I guess every form of refuge has its price.”

So the relationship she believed would be her refuge for life has become her prison. And the price is a high one indeed.

So, what does she do next? She lies to her husband and meets a boyfriend on the “cheatin’ side of town” thereby turning to another “form of refuge.” One for which there can also be a very high price.

What next? “She gets up and pours herself a strong one . . . Another night, it’s going to be a long one . . .” Still another refuge.   The cost continues to increase.

In therapy and recovery parlance, it’s often called “self-soothing.” What do we do with our pain, our anxiety, our self-doubts and our anger? Do we address them directly? Do we seek help in healing the wounds and dealing with the pain?

Sadly, we frequently look for a refuge, a way of helping ourselves feel better, even if only temporarily. Some of the most popular refuges include:

  • Unhealthy Relationships
  • Sex
  • Pornography
  • Alcohol
  • Drugs–Legal and Illegal
  • Gambling
  • And hundreds more substances and processes

Unfortunately, we often find ourselves paying a very high price.

Ultimately, the girl in the song is faced with some very fundamental questions about herself:

“She wonders how it ever got this crazy . . . Did she get tired, or did she just get lazy?”

Maybe now is the time to stop following the path of least resistance. What appears to be the easy way may in fact be the most painful and costly path of all.

Remember, “You Can’t Hide Your Lyin’ Eyes.”

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